How do you feel when someone puts your life into the perspective you should be living with.
For me, it hurts.
Because I find truth in the love & honesty in the aforementioned clip. It makes me think I could be doing so much more. Or doing so much better-in general. But what does that even mean? I try to tell myself--you are you & they are them. Your life is different. You shouldn't think like this.
But that is foolish thinking & I should not be lying to myself. I am moved because I have become stagnant.
I want my life to have the perspective it should. I want connections to stay strong & for my face to not crinkle up in frustration so much. Even after that sentance, I had to remember to relax my face & shoulders!
I want to do what's right for me. Listen to the words of advice, like from our physical trainer who said last night, "no more Jack in the Box right before working out. Or like, ever." And I know he means the Taylor Swift kind of never ever, not Sean Connery's idea of never ever.
So how can I make that happen?
My book from Book Club at work states the different steps to achieve feeling more efficient. My books from my dad feature ways to be smart with money, with time, with my identity. My book from God gives me the structure those other books are based on. My book from my husband gives me a simple wisdom.
So much advice! It can be over whelming to try to change.
I know I want something to change but I know my life is limited to being work oriented. Thus is limited in all other aspects. Because I have made it this way. I know I don't like that I have sacrificed friends, family even myself because of how I have limited myself. I can feel the unbalance in my soul and I need to balance myself out.
What do you do when you know you're unbalanced? Do you seek advice? Clean house? Go to sleep & hope the feeling dissipates? What are your remedies to getting to the point where you are feeling like the best you can be?
I go to Portland and curl up on Heather's couch. Joshua and I spend our time with people older than us and even though it's remarkably easy to be a part of the family we've chosen sometimes we feel the hole that companions our age have left after spending years together living literally next door. It always seems like an impossible task when we plan it (There's laundry! And my room isn't clean! And it's a hassle!) but the minute we settle in the car and go we know it's the right thing. Like working out- there are a million reasons not to but once it's done you feel better.
ReplyDeleteLove you Darcypoo. Hope to see you sometime.